Homecoming and Holiday Drivers

After my first week at the new job I'm finally home. I got my first paycheck and got on the road about noon. The drive home wasn't so bad until I hit Ohio. Cleveland, more specifically. New York between Syracuse and Buffalo was a little crowded but moved nicely. No real problems there. I stopped on the other side of Buffalo and got a bite. Pennsylvania wasn't bad either. About the same as New York. I stopped and got fuel and was a little frightened by the toothless state of the local yokels but all in all it was uneventful. Then I hit Ohio. I was ok through the upper northeastern part but I ran into traffic in Cleveland. I looked at the clock and realized it was rush hour. Bad luck but nothing sinister I waited it out. The drive south was not too bad and I figured that it was going to be an uneventful trip. Wrong. Once I hit Columbus everyone started having accidents. They had all of the southbound lanes closed for one accident and nobody was moving at all. I figured I'd be there all night. Then, without warning we all go from stopped dead to 60 mph. The accident they had the entire highway closed for was, as far as I could tell, on a side off ramp. From there things got worse. I figured I'd be fine as soon as I got south of the city limits. Wrong again. Every few miles some idiot in a mini van was driving 50mph and slowing down both lanes of traffic to a near standstill. At one point we were doing under 30mph and there was no accident or other reason for it, just some idiot pissing people off. It was at this time that I had a revelation. You've heard peopl use the term "Sunday Driver", right? If there are indeed "Sunday Drivers", then, by extension, there are likely people who are "Holiday Drivers". I was surrounded by people who are so inept at driving that they only drive during the holidays. In a way it was a good thing. It kept me occupied enough with my own irritation that the remaining time flew by. Before I knew it I was home and unpacking. Life was once again good.